Despite losing all of my paintings from Made with Paper, I forged on, in spite of my grief, to see “Book of Mormon” with my daughter here in Portland. And wouldn’t you know it, real Mormons were outside the Keller Auditorium to spread the word and, it seems, to insert themselves in our selfie. Evidently, this particular young man has a great sense of humor. And to clarify, I am not standing in a hole, my daughter is 5’8” and I am 5’1”
65 Lessons I’ve Learned Since Turning 65
July 14, 2014 at 9:12pm
Since my 65th year is drawing to a close, I have decided to reflect (and impart to those people who are younger than me) some lessons I have learned since last July …
1. When you go to the doctor and happen to need an X-ray, no one will ask you if you could possibly be pregnant.
2. It’s always better to take your glasses off before getting into the shower.
3. When you are talking on the telephone and no one is responding to you, check and make sure that you are not talking into the remote for the television.
4. When you ask someone to help you find your glasses and are told they are already on, it’s time to go to the eye doctor.
5. It’s okay to have ice cream for dinner and I have convinced myself it is heathy to maintain bone strength.
6. Always, always, always tell the people you love that you love them … you never know when “the last time” really is “the last time.” I didn’t learn this in the last year but not everyone says these most important words which opens your heart.
7. When getting dressed, underwear goes on first and then your pants.
8. Don’t make fun of people who need Depends … needing them is closer than you think.
9. I hate people who proclaim that Social Security and Medicare are entitlement programs; in one respect they are correct: I worked very hard, the government took out funds from every paycheck I received (even though I didn’t want these withdrawals) and YES, I AM NOW ENTITLED to get my money back.
10. I shouldn’t have to pay taxes on my Social Security income now since I already paid taxes on the funds which Uncle Sam hijacked from my paycheck for my entire working career.
11. Ladies, you never have to shave your legs and underarms again … the hair magically disappears. Don’t waste your money on needless, expensive laser hair removal … mother nature will take care of that pesky problem.
12. Body parts that I didn’t know I had have started hurting.
13. Mel and I have completely different parenting skills when it comes to Bingo which is probably why he follows Mel around; Bingo’s also hoping that some food will fall out of Mel’s mouth.
14. The “golden years” are not what they’re cracked up to be.
15. My hearing is starting to go and most of the time, conversations go like this:
Me: What would you like for dinner?
Mel: Yes, I think you’re getting thinner.
Me: Not thinner I said dinner.
Mel: I need to go out and buy a lottery ticket and I’m sure it will be a winner.
16. When I watch television, I need to put on the subtitles so I can understand the actors.
17. If the program I’m watching has actors with accents, the subtitles are worse than my hearing loss. Go on, try watching Downton Abbey with subtitles.
18. Now is the age for me to throw caution to the wind which includes my mother’s advice about using public restrooms. Bessie’s rule for public toilets included lots of toilet paper on the seat … the more paper, the better. She still insisted that a lady must hover over the seat in case a germ (i.e. crabs) would somehow climb out and cling to your va-jay-jay. The hovering method is a great exercise for your thighs but poses another problem. If you don’t center your hovering ass over the toilette, there is splash back. I hate going in a restroom only to discover pee splashes all over the seat and I am proud that in my long years of hovering, I always wiped the seat (and then scrubbed my hands like a madwoman. And, Bessie, if you can hear me, I have not come down with any diseases south of the border.
19. I hit the friend jackpot when I moved to Oregon but this year has been especially hard and my friends have never ceased to amaze me with their love, caring and understanding.
20. I have the recipe for turning lemons into lemonade: (1) debilitating illness; (2) boredom; (3) iPad; (4) a willingness to try something new. I found a painting app and it opened a door to a talent I did not know I had. I started a blog and have two books, “it’s never too late to become what you might have been” and “remembering nazarine.” My blog is www.walksalittle.tumblr.com.
21. I am an artist!!!!
22. I was clearly overly ambitious when I started this list of 65 things I have learned in the last twelve months. I have learned that I haven’t learned as much as I thought I did. Oops!
If I happen to learn any other lessons that are deemed “note worthy,” I’ll add them.
Award-winning artist Katharine Morling creates whimsical and often outlandish sculpture from porcelain and ceramics. Instead of simply making the pieces and leaving them in their ceramic form, the added touch of black in certain spots creates an illusive effect, making the everyday objects look like drawings in real life.
I could not resist reposting these amazing sculptures.